Wednesday, 24 November 2010

SIr...are you gay?

I have taught year 10 3 times so far this week. The first time was an exam, so all I had to do was invigilate. nice and dull. Second time i thought since they had recently had an exam, revision and another exam i would give them an easy lesson, watching a House episode about TB. Three confiscated iPods later the class is settled. Then a girl near the front kept staring at me. I ignored it (tactically ignoring behaviour) figuring she would get bored and go back to watching the video. She didn't. So i asked her "is everything alright?" to which she replied "yeah, bu' sir...are you gay?"

Now the way i see it i could have handled this really really wrong...i could have:
1)been shocked.
2)over reacted and thrown her out the class.
3)been sarcastic and answered "yeah, i love male rectum, it's amazing".

These would have probably invoked three possible responses:
1) She takes the shock as affirmation of my sexuality and i spend the next 3 months shoving teenage boys into detention for calling me queer or other homophobic remarks (strict homophobic crackdown at the moment, so tactically ignoring so they get bored doesn't tie in with procedure....)
2)She has asked me an innocent question in today's tolerant society, to throw her out in the middle of a school campaign against homophobia for asking me quite innocently and politely about my sexuality would be extremely unfair and damage my relationship with not only the student but the class. This would in effect make my life hell.
3)sarcasm would have provoked a bad example for them to follow and only caused more questions.

i pretty much went through the above thought process in about 3 seconds. Then, now bleeding from the ears from over thinking an innocent enough question, i realised the best answer was a simple, polite, "no".

This worked, genius!!!!! but then my mouth kept moving, and out popped the word...."why?"

( i know, what a tool)

Give her her due she answered politely and said "well your bum wiggles when you walk and you wear these fitted shirts". At this point i chuckled and apologised for my bum and assured her i wasn't gay. It all worked out okay but now whenever i walk down the corridor at school I'm very aware of my bum, considering baggy trousers....

quote of the day: me: no, why?.....student: are you sure?!

thanks year 10...amazing!

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